WOMEN ... Increase Your Sex Drive
Loss of Libido
If your sex drive has shifted into low gear, you're not alone. Loss of libido - the sexual urge or instinct - is a frequent complaint among female patients.
It is a common problem that is often not talked about. Many patients are surprised and relieved to learn they are not the only ones with a decreased sex drive. Most are in their 30s and early 40s. Before prescribing hormones or drug therapy, many specialists suggest patients first try an effective sexual attractant.
Women lose interest in sex for a number of physical and emotional reasons. Some of the causes are illness, side effects from medications, hormonal imbalances of testosterone or estrogen, mental or physical disabilities, depression and alcohol or drug abuse. Others include sexual trauma such as abuse or rape, negative religious or family training about sex, and problems with body image. Sex is psychological for women, while for men it's very physical.
After childbirth, a woman often experiences a decreased sex drive. In this case, pheromones may help. The demands on her time and energy become much greater, and intimacy often gets rationed out. Even if they close the door to the bedroom, most mothers will have one ear open to see if their child needs something. Decreased sex drive also occurs in those who are very career-oriented and devote a lot of mental and physical energy to their jobs. Others may lose interest if they experience physical pain during sex, or if they are having problems communicating with their partner.
Causes of loss of sex drive:
- stress and fatigue
- acute or chronic illness
- drug or alcohol use or abuse
- medication use
- lack of desire
- pregnancy and the postpartum period
- surgical changes and gynecologic infections
- hormonal changes
- relationship problems
- fear of intimacy
- previous sexual trauma
- religious beliefs
- proximity of family members
What you can do
Recognizing there is a problem is the first step. The second step would be searching the web to find people with similar problems and finding out what they have done about it. There are real reasons why it happens, and it is OK to seek care. There is nothing creepy or crazy about it. The worst thing you can do is to be unhappy with the way you feel but do nothing about it. For the majority of women, it is a matter of needing a kick start to get the process going.
- If diminished sex drive is being caused by a medical condition, a change in medication may help.
- When stress is a factor, allow yourself time to relax by taking a bath or a long walk.
- Exercise improves libido by increasing overall health.
Causing relationship problems
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your partner about the subject, make a list of conditions that need to be met in order for you to enjoy sex. They may include privacy, freedom from interruption or pain, or not being tired, stressed out or angry. Share the list with your partner. While diminished sex drive is a difficult subject to discuss with your doctor, it's an even tougher topic to talk about with your partner, because often he will feel rejected.
You have to be careful to make your spouse understand it is not something he has done or not done. Oprah Winfrey once featured the topic on her talk show. On the show, actress Cristina Ferrare said she solved her problem of low sex drive by using testosterone cream as well as pheromone perfume. Testosterone creams have not been proven, and they tend to increase cholesterol levels and can promote the growth of facial hair. Pheromone perfumes have many scientific backers.
Medications are not without their risks, and people can not just take testosterone and not be vigilant. Many women want reassurance that they are normal. Whatever is satisfying to both members of the couple is normal.
Women can expect to lose interest in making love when they are tired, overworked, sick, miserable or in an unrewarding relationship. Some women lose interest in making love, when everything else seems to be under control. These women can often benefit from testosterone therapy and pheromones. Women with low blood levels of testosterone (below 10 nanograms per milliliter) usually have little interest in making love. No woman should be given male hormones until she has had a thorough health screen by a doctor who is familiar with the use of that hormone but pheromones are totally safe. If and when her desire increases, she can stop taking testosterone. Short-term administration of the low doses of testosterone necessary to revive a woman's sexuality rarely cause a woman to grow hair on her face. There are several ways that a woman can take testosterone. She can have a pellet containing 100 mg of testosterone inserted under the skin, not more often than every 6 to 8 months.) Another method is to receive 50 to 100 mg of testosterone enanthate by injection once every three or four weeks for a few months. Testosterone pills can lower blood levels of the good HDL cholesterol and increase a woman's chances of suffering a heart attack. This never happens when using pheromones. The FDA has approved a testosterone patch for men, called Androderm, that can be placed anywhere on the skin. There are no studies yet on how it should be used on women.
You are not alone
First of all don't feel like you are alone with this problem. Millions of women are dealing with this same issue of low sex drive or no sex drive at all. I would first recommend that you make an appointment to see your OB/GYN. Sometimes, a loss of sex drive could be due to hormonal imbalance. Stress could also be a reason for lost of sex drive. If there are no physical reasons for your lost of sex drive it could be more psychological than physical. Although sex physical interaction is physically related, desire starts with mental stimuli. Provided there is no physical restrictions currently, there is no reason for you not to be able to have a good sex life again. Try to deal with the dislikes of your sex life in a honest open way and work through each issue for a solution. If it worked for you in the beginning it can work for you again. If you both love each other, work through this period and don't give up on each other or your marriage. This is important and can not be stressed enough. If you find that in trying to work through these issues and feel you are getting nowhere, you may want to consider seeking a professional marriage counselor or finding a sex therapist (in person or online) for help.